Depression and Writing: Don't End Your Story

People often ask me why I write. I give them plenty of answers like, it's what I was born to do (cheesy, I know), it's as vital to me as the air I breathe (also cheesy), I love to create new worlds, I have stories to tell, etc. etc. Writing is also my outlet when I'm stressed or depressed. When I slip into the text and the world falls away, I feel a warmth in my chest that dissipates every awful thing I'm feeling. I'm lost in the story, and everything feels right with the world. In a way, my writing saves me from my negative emotions. 

But what about those times when it can't? What about the times when writer's block is so strong is drives me into a downward spiral of depression? 

I've written about anxiety, depression, and writing before, but what happened a week ago is very different. 

On February 2nd, my depression almost won. I won't go into great detail, but I checked myself into a psychiatric ward with the guidance and support of a friend so that I could take care of my mental health.

So I wouldn't end my story.  

You see, I love writing, but I do the same thing many writers do. I attach my self worth to my craft. If I can't write, I feel like something's wrong with me and I stress myself out more than necessary. It's habit. It's worse when I have a block on a big project I want to complete such as Purple Door District 2. For months I've struggled and felt disconnected with my craft. That's bad enough, but when writing is supposed to be an emotional outlet, and I lose that, I sometimes feel like I lose my purpose too. 

Don't get me wrong, a lot of things compounded over the months to make me so depressed, but not being able to write was a huge part of it. Writers tend to forget about their mental health when they're so busy creating. We get swept up in what we should be getting done or how we're not doing enough that we forget the warning signs our brain sends us when we've pushed ourselves too far. 

-Lack of interest in the things we love

-Unable to deal with daily stresses

-Losing sleep over worry

-Beating ourselves down for not writing because we see ourselves as failures

Sound familiar? I was feeling all of this, and yet I didn't realize just how depressed I was until it was almost too late. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm not shy when it comes to talking about my mental health. Several writers on twitter have been told that they shouldn't discuss their emotions or mental health because it's "unprofessional" or "no one wants to hear their drama." 

Bullshit. 

Talking about how you feel makes you more real. It makes you more human and relatable. If Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and blog posts are your outlets and the only places you feel safe talking about your emotions, then do it. The United States has such a stigma about mental health, like it's a hush hush topic that no one should talk about.

Again, I call bullshit. If we talked about it, then maybe more people would know when to reach out for help. Maybe more creative minds would realize they're not alone in their struggles and there are people who care what happens to them. 

You are not your craft. Your worth is not measured by your word or page count, or your amazon reviews, or the number of books under your belt. 

One of the things that struck me the hardest about going into the psychiatric ward was when the therapist said, "You're a writer? Oh yeah, I've probably seen most of the writers in the city here." What does that tell you about us creative folk? We push and push and beat ourselves down when we should be lifting ourselves and others up for our/their accomplishments. 

So in case no one has said this to you today, you matter. You are amazing. You are loved. And you have a purpose. No matter how lonely you feel, there's a community out there that understands what you're going through. If you're too nervous to call someone for help, then try #writingcommunity on Twitter, or any number of writing hashtags on instagram. Believe me, you'll find that there are more people like you than you even realize. 

And during those really bad moments, when you feel like the world is coming down and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, please consider calling the suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255. 

Your story isn't over yet, and the world wants to hear it. You're not alone. 

Character POVs: What Should You Choose?

When you start writing a book, one of the first questions you have to ask yourself is what point of view are you going to focus on? There are several different paths you can take and explanations about why you might want to choose one over the other. 

• 1st Person POV: These are the "I" stories, books that are generally only in a single person's POV. The narrator is the main character. You see this quite often in YA books like Hunger Games, Divergent, and The Lightning Thief. In some cases, a 1st person POV might have multiple character views. One of the Mercy Thompson books, while primarily told from Mercy's view, switches to her mate, Adam's view partway through the book. This is effective so long as you indicate that you're switching the POV. Generally though, you want to just stick with one character. KA Applegate wrote a series called Animorphs in which each book had a single POV, but it switched characters from book to book. In one book you read about Rachel. The next focused on Tobias. Still, each individual book was through the eyes of one person. 

• 2nd Person POV: These are the "you" stories, ones that make the reader the main character, essentially. This is an excellent POV to use when you're writing a choose-your-own-adventure book or blog posting. I've also seen this work well in poetry. Some examples of 2nd POV books include The Night Circus, Bright Lights, Big City, and All the Truth That's In Me. Arguably, second person point of view is one of the hardest POVs to write. If you don't do it the correct way, readers can become confused or lost in your writing. In some cases, they might feel offended, feeling that the writer is saying something wrong or rude about them. You have to remember that this is just another form of writing. 

• 3rd Person POV: There are a couple versions of 3rd person point of view that we'll go into. In general, these are the "he/she" stories, so it's the author telling a story through other characters. Third person POV is likely the easiest way to tell stories from multiple POVs. Some good examples, in general, include The Giver, Ender's Game, and The Game of Thrones series. 

  • 3rd Person Omniscient: In these stories, the narrator knows all the thoughts and feelings of each character and doesn't focus on just one. Everyone, more or less, gets page time and there aren't many secrets that the reader doesn't know. Some examples include Redwall by Brian Jacques.

  • 3rd Person Limited: Limited means that the narrator only relays the thoughts and feelings of particular characters. In essence, the narrator zooms in on a character and gives a closer look into that person's thoughts and habits. No longer does the read know what everyone is thinking. Some good examples include Harry Potter and Alpha Omega.  

The next questions to ask are, why choose these different POVs? What works best for my book? Should I just have one POV or many? 

That really depends on what you're writing. If you have an epic fantasy with different races and locations where battles occur, you may consider writing 3rd person so you can explore more of your realm. Think of Lord of the Rings. Initially, we follow everyone on the journey, but eventually, the characters split off with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli headed in one direction, the hobbits going in another, and Gandalf going a third.  You get to see what's happening to everyone through the story without having to hear it from another character. 

If your book is focused on a single character and you want to make sure the readers can get into her head, then you may consider first person instead. Hunger Games and Divergent both let you see the world through the eyes and minds of the primary character. Could it have been told through multiple POVs? Possibly, but it may not have been as effective. 

Sometimes you may write a book with multiple characters in mind, only to realize later that it's better to have one focus. Or, in the case of a dear writer friend of mine, in order to enhance her romance book, she had to include a brand new POV. She admitted it made the book that much stronger. 

 Experiment. Play around and write a couple chapters and see what works better for you. You may not realize your book is missing a POV until you finish it or a beta reader suggests that they wanted more information from another character. If that's the case, don't be afraid to rewrite part of the story. I had too many POVs in one of my books and I dropped out everyone but the main character and that made the book more focused and much stronger. 

Good luck, and happy writing. 

Prologues

To write a prologue or not to write a prologue? That is the question, and it's one that's been frequenting message boards and twitter. I thought I might as well throw in my two cents about this somewhat controversial topic. 

The first, and most important, question to ask yourself is, what purpose does your prologue serve?

Prologues are generally used to introduce something important in the story that can't happen in any other way.

• Is a prophecy told?

• Does something happen in the past that's vital to the present?

• Are there characters who need a brief introduction at the beginning so their presence makes sense later?

• Are there Gods or Goddesses at work that demand their own part of the story lest they curse you with writer's block?     

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you might consider writing the prologue. 

However, if your prologue only serves to: 

• introduce information that can easily be told through flashbacks or exposition (ie info dump),

• create an entire world that you completely obliterate at the end of the prologue because you want to start your story with more action,

• make the story seem more epic, 

• prolong getting to the heart of the story, 

then maybe it isn't for you. 

Keep in mind that readers tend to decide if they're going to continue reading the book after the first chapter or the first few lines. You want to wow them. If you write a prologue that's long, dry, and unimportant to the rest of the story, you're going to lose your reader before they even reach the main plot line. It can also distract readers from your main story, leaving them to wonder why the prologue was put in place at all. 

On the other hand, prologues are great for pulling readers into your world. It stands alone and can be used in many different capacities. Say you write the majority of your story in one character's POV. Your prologue can serve to be another character's POV. If an ancestor plays a big role in your main character's life, the prologue might be the place to first introduce them. Is there an epic battle that takes place in the past that foreshadows the rest of your story? A prologue is a good place for it. 

Every book is different, and so while a prologue might work for one book, it may fail for another. You, as the writer, have to judge for yourself what your book needs. If you give your book to beta readers and they indicate that the prologue doesn't add anything, listen to them. If they say they feel like they're missing something at the beginning, then you may very well need to include a prologue. 

Prologues don't have to be long either. They could be as short as a few sentences, imparting vital information to the readers before they step into the main part of the story. The prologue could be several pages, perhaps reminding readers what happened in previous books if you're working on a series. Experiment with it. You might be surprised what you come up with. 

In the end, while prologues may have fallen out of favor, they're neither bad nor good. They exist for the sake of the book. If there's a purpose to it, then that's all that matters. 

Why Did I Indie Publish?

Since self-publishing The Purple Door District, I've received a lot of questions about why I decided to go that route. Well, I want it to be clear that I actually hope to become a hybrid author. My goal is to self-publish some books and traditional publish others.  I want to experience both worlds and see which one works the best for me. For all I know, indie publishing will win out.

The first answer to this question is easy. The Purple Door District is a component of a larger series called Fates and Furies that I write with my co-author, AE Kellar. We decided early on that when we published the books, we wanted to go the indie path. We'd have more freedom that way and we could keep all the important elements in the book without the fear of having a publisher take them out. We wanted control of the cover and the publishing schedule. We both have tight schedules and sometimes we just can't write together. We didn't want the pressure of a publishing house coming down on us, insisting we had to have work done at a certain time when it just wasn't feasible.

Now, that being said, we still want to put work out consistently, but indie publishing is more flexible and more forgiving when it comes to time frames. If we have to push publication dates back to make the book better and stronger, then so be it. So, The Purple Door District was guaranteed to be self-published.

But what about my other books like Dragon Steal or Traitors of the Crown? Why not self-publish those?

Well, again, I want the experience, and I feel like those books might do better with publishing houses that focus on the same type of topic.

Indie publishing is an adventure, to be blunt. You have control of everything. Writing. Editing. Choosing editors/proofreaders. Finding the cover. Marketing. Formatting. Publishing. Distribution. You wear all of the hats, and while that can be daunting, it can also be extremely enjoyable and rewarding. I went from having this book I was just posting on patreon with a rough cover to a published copy in my hand and in bookstores. I spent six months doing my marketing and printing campaign, and I honestly couldn't be happier.

I was relieved that I could choose my own cover. Often in traditional publishing, you don't get a say in it. In my case, I found an artist, and she and I worked together to perfect the cover. She willingly listened to my suggestions and adjusted the art so it turned into the lovely piece it is today. Likewise, I found artists who could make character images for me, and I was the only one who could say if it matched my vision. I had the final approval. You don't always get that in the traditional world.

I also was able to choose my own editors and proofreaders. I went with people I trusted, who had worked with me either for a long time or had demonstrated a passion for the craft and my book. Our relationships became harmonious, and we were able to message each other without having to worry about a publisher watching over us.

Indie publishing is no longer as taboo as it used to be. Authors are spending money to acquire editing services, and more freelance editors are appearing everyday. One of the biggest things I love about indie publishing is working with the community. I'm not the only one benefiting from publishing the book. Editors, proofreaders, artists, PA specialists all have a hand in the book and receive payment for their work. I'm proud to have met so many incredibly talented people and it brings me great joy to promote them on my website.

Indie publishing is a lot of work and a ton of money (depending on how you want to do it). You can indie publish and not spend a dime except for purchasing books. Or, you can put more of your cash into it to create a bigger marketing strategy. Again, the choice is yours. You have control over your own process. And you don't have to worry about a publishing company folding and dropping the series you've been working on (it's happened before).

I'm not waiting for anyone to promote my materials or set up book signings for me. I do it all myself and go where I think I'll have the most success. Walking this path has turned me into a stronger and more knowledgeable writer that I'm not sure I would have received from traditional publishing alone. Yes, in traditional publishing you still have to help market, but not to the same extent as indie.

I give a lot of credit to those who have self-published before me, and those who will after me. I feel like may of us have become a close-nit community because we all know the struggle of creating and promoting our books. The writing community is incredible, and no matter if you choose to self publish or traditional publish, I hope you're proud to be part of the community.

Sequel Struggles

It hasn't even been a month since I published The Purple Door District, and I'm already feeling the dreaded sequel struggle. You know the feeling. You finish book one in a trilogy or series. Ideas blossom in your head for the next story. Your characters weave their tales and are ready to continue their journeys. You sit down to write. 

Nothing. 

Yes, this is going to be one of those raw blog posts where I talk about my struggles and then still try to provide some advice thanks to the help of other incredible writers.

Right now, I'm trying not to throw my computer at the wall because I'm so frustrated with the book.  I managed to write part of the story during NaNo, but now I feel stuck. One reason is because I'm intimidated by book one! I've received a lot of really good feedback, and while I know I can still make changes, I don't want to write a sequel that's subpar. Not only that, I'm not working with the same exact cast. New characters are popping in left and right, and they're making the story that much more detailed and difficult. 

Don't get me wrong, the second book was meant to be more detailed and have bigger stakes, as it should, but I didn't think it would cause me quite this much stress and fear. 

I reached out to an incredible romance writer named Eliza David who sent me one of her blog posts about writing a sequel. You can check it out here. She provides some incredible tips such as taking notes of your characters from the first book, and also allowing characters (and conflict) to grow. Check it out!

As I've worked on my sequel, I've learned a few things that I thought I'd share as well. If you have tips, let me know! 

• Character Bios: Make sure you have character bios and descriptions from the first book and keep adding to them for the second book so you don't have to keep researching and remembering who has what eyes or hair. 

• Talk it Out: I spent part of the day talking to my co-creator about book two. She had a bunch of valuable advice, and you can do the same with a fellow writer, especially one who has read your book. Outline the next story for them to see if it makes sense and if your book is going to hold your readers' attention as much as the first. 

• Read Your First Book: This might seem obvious, but I didn't really think about it when I started in on the sequel. I'd spent so much time editing PDD 1, I thought I wouldn't have to read it again. Boy, was I wrong. I think it'll help me stay in the groove of working with some of the same characters once I review it. 

• Outline: Outline your sequel to see if it makes sense in the world of book one. And if you have another book after the sequel, try to outline that book as well so you know where number two needs to end. Granted, this is more for the plotters rather than the pantsers, but I think it's beneficial to both. 

• Allow Yourself to Feel Frustrated: Seriously, writing a sequel is scary and hard, so if you get frustrated, it's completely normal. Allow yourself to feel (kick, scream, and cry if you need to), then get back to work. It's better than keeping it all in. 

• Remember First Drafts Suck: Don't get intimidated by your edited writing in book one. It started off as rough and unpolished as the sequel. The most important thing is to get the words on paper. You can clean it up later. 

Believe me when I say you're not alone in your dread of writing a sequel. Do what feels right for you, and look up suggestions for how to get through blocks and over hurdles.

My biggest suggestion is try to find a way to embrace your book and not be afraid of it. Because if you're afraid what could happen, the only person who will ever know the story is you.

Write it.

You can do it!