Wolf Pit Draft Complete!

I did it.

After 6 grueling months, several weeks of depression, and enough overtime at work to last me a lifetime, I finally finished the first draft of The Purple Door District: Wolf Pit. Book 1 clocked in at about 76,000 words. Wolf Pit? As of now, she's a whopping 99,000 words. Granted, she still has to go through editing, but I'm headed in the right direction. 

So what does this mean for the final piece? 

Ideally, I would like to publish Wolf Pit by December 2019. I'm not officially making this the date, as it's going to depend on a couple of things.

1. I'm attempting to get accepted to #writementor with my YA fantasy book Dragon Steal. If I'm selected, I'm going to spend the summer working with a published mentor to get my book in shape for an agent showcase. That means PDD might have to get pushed back a bit.

2. Editing. Editing takes a lot of time and the book is longer than the first one. I need to do my revisions, I have to send it to my co-world-creator, AE Kellar, to pass her inspection, I need a few sensitivity readers to look it over, not to mention my main editor Leona Bushman will have to rip it apart so I can rebuild it. And after that, I have proofreaders who need to review it. That all takes time, and I don't want to rush it. So, if I don't make the December deadline, I imagine it'll be ready by early 2020. 

I'm sure I'm going to get the stink eye from some of my readers and a scolding from fellow authors. Why is it taking me so long to put out a book? Well, there are a few factors. I work a 40+-hour job each week, volunteer for The Iowa Writers' House, and I'm a Director of The Writers' Rooms. On top of that, I spend time marketing my main book, querying Dragon Steal, blogging, interviewing authors, etc. It all takes time, and when writer's block or depression hits, that means it's going to take even longer. I honestly don't take many breaks from the computer. I'm usually always doing something when it comes to writing, even if it's not for PDD specifically. 

Believe me, it's not that I don't consider PDD a priority, I just have to make sure I pay the bills and put food on the table. And at the same time, I have to take care of my mental and physical health, which have both been up in the air over the past year. I wish I could write as a full-time author and produce more, but at this point in my life, that's not a possibility. So while I hate to delay the books, it's something I just have to do. That's why I try to keep my patreon updated so that people have short stories about the characters they can read while the book is in production.

Now, that all being said, what's Wolf Pit about? (Spoilers: If you haven't read PDD 1, I suggest you not read the book promo). 

Tess Montgomery isn’t your typical member of the Chicago wolf pack. In fact, she’s not a wolf at all. She’s an adopted fire magus of the pack and thus doesn’t always “play by the rules.” When her father and her best friend Nick are kidnapped in what the parahumans assume is a Hunter operation, Tess’s pack is thrown into turmoil. With Alpha Paytah unable to step outside the bounds of his new position as Violet Marshall of Chicago’s Purple Door District, Tess takes the reins to plan a rescue attempt.

Meanwhile, Nick and his fellow wolves find themselves in a world of battle and bloodshed. The Hunters have set up an illegal fighting pit where the strongest survive and the weakest are traded or killed. It’s all Nick can do to keep up the spirits of his packmates and help them escape. Or survive long enough until they’re rescued.

Unfortunately, Tess’ rescue mission fails spectacularly, leading to her capture. She finds herself the unwilling guest of a local Hunter named Arjun. Handsome, charming, and deadly, Arjun tries to convince Tess that not all Hunters are the enemy.  He even offers to help her find her packmates. But is he true to his word, or does he have his own wicked plans in mind?

As you can see, there's a lot going on in this book and many POV switches so you can experience what's happening both in Tess's world and Nick's. It was a challenge to provide equal time to both, but I'm hoping it works out.

I'm really excited to share the cover and the story with all of you. The cover I'm planning to release on May 1st, 2019 in its full glory. Those of you who are patrons, however, get to see it early ;-) That's my gift to you since my story this month is going to be a bit late due to finishing up PDD. 

I want to thank you for following me on this crazy journey/adventure, and I hope you're excited for Wolf Pit. 

Writing with Chronic Pain

I want to tell you a story, one that I tend to vaguely mention in posts with phrases like, "I have eye trouble," or "I'm light sensitive." Over the years I've stopped talking about it as much because I haven't wanted to bother/bore people (and it's just kind of a daily thing for me now), but I'm starting to realize when you don't discuss chronic pain, people don't realize the seriousness of the issue. And that while some things you do to alleviate pain may seem funny, it's really not a laughing matter. 

About seven years ago, something changed with my vision. It started with an ocular migraine. One moment I was fine, the next, my vision started to pixelate. A strange line appeared across my eye and kept pulsing so quickly I started to lose my vision. It got so bad that about 75% of my vision went out, and I had to grab onto walks just to walk around at work. 

I thought I was having a heart attack. 

Ocular migraines can last anywhere from moments to 30 minutes, and I'm on the longer spectrum. I've gotten them while driving, working, and writing. It used to terrify me every time it happened. Now? I'm just kind of used to getting them and just wait it out as best I can and hope that it doesn't spark a full-on migraine. 

About a month later, things got worse. My eyes had been wearing out faster than usual and I wasn't sure why. Then one night, while I was looking at my computer, my vision completely doubled. 

Ever since then, I've battled with pain in my eyes. 

For seven years. 

At the worst times, it feels like someone is shoving their fingers into my eyes and shining a bright light that I can't look away from. My forehead is stuck in a vice. A certain level of light can start up the issue and then something as simple as looking at a computer or reading a book takes a painful toll on my eyes. 

I've been to eye doctors and ophthalmologists. I went to the Mayo clinic. I tried medicines that have made me suicidal or caused insomnia. I've been told not to bother coming back because a doctor didn't believe me. I've used prisms and been falsely diagnosed with lazy eye. I've tried eye drop after eye drop, changed glasses, had plugs inserted in my tear ducts, taken antibiotics for inflammation, etc.

The most anyone can tell me is I have severe dry eye, light sensitivity, and I used to have blepharitis, an inflammation of the eyelids. But even with all the treatments, and with my eyes as healthy as they've ever been, the pain is still there. I'm at least to the point that I don't wake up in the morning and fear that I won't have the eye strength to do work. But I don't know how I'll be in the evening when I want to write. 

I live in perpetual darkness. The most light I might have on at my house in the evening is blue Christmas lights, or a single lamp, because more light than that is painful. And believe me, using full-spectrum lights for depression are NOT fun (though at least they help my mood). 

To top it off, I also have chronic migraines. I take a medicine three times a day to keep them under control, but when they hit, they can be debilitating. And unfortunately, my eyes are the first to go down. I've thrown up because the pain was so bad. I've had to lay in complete darkness with cold cloths over my eyes and on my neck to stop the pulsing pain radiating through my skull and eyes. And there's no telling how long the migraines will last. It could be a day. It could last several. If my eyes become even more sensitive to light, that's generally my first sign a migraine is coming on. 

I've had to fight tooth and nail at work to be placed in a darker location so I can actually perform my job. And I still have to wear a hat to block out what light comes near me because otherwise my eyes spasm and start to hurt. Sometimes I even have to wear sunglasses or put a shawl over my head to drown out the light. And you know, it gets tiring when people crack jokes about it. I see the looks people give me when they walk by and I'm wearing a hat inside or donning a pair of glasses so I can finish my work. I hear the snickers or snide remarks when I have my computer settings so low or use a blue background when writing so I can actually do something I love. I also hear the whole, "It's just a headache," comment or the scoffing, "WOW, you really are light sensitive, aren't you?" 

And it sucks. Because what people don't realize is it also affects the things that I love most which are writing and reading. When I say that it takes me awhile to get through a book, it's because it physically hurts to read for long periods of time. There are nights I want to write pages of my story, but if my eyes are having an issue, that goes out the window. I used to be over the moon when my favorite authors would come out with big books. Now I just dread seeing them because I know how much time and eye strain it's going to take to get through the story. Yes, I know I can listen to audio books, but for me, it's not the same. I can't look at the text and visualize things as easily with audio books as I can while reading and holding books. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't use audio books. I have quite the library stacked up. 

Reading used to be my stress reliever, and now I have to really work if I want to get through a story. And when it comes to editing my own stuff? It can be an absolute nightmare. I've had tears screaming down my cheeks trying to edit my writing because it hurt to read, but I needed to get my deadlines done. Even now while I'm writing this post I can feel my eyes watering and I'm closing them periodically to give them some rest. And it's not just from staring at screens. It's while I'm hanging out with people. Grabbing tea at a coffee shop. Gardening. Cleaning. Shopping at the store. 

It's always there. 

I'm not writing all this to have people feel sorry for me, or to whine, that's not the point. I just want people to understand that I do things like wearing sun glasses and hats or rarely pick up books these days not because I want to, but because of chronic pain. It's not always visible, and believe me, eye problems and migraines have definitely caused my anxiety and depression to escalate. 

I'm grateful the eye doctor I have now wasn't like the others who told me not to come back. She stuck with me and has made things bearable for me. And we're still hopeful that things will continue to improve over time. 

So be kind to people who have invisible issues. You never know what's going on behind their exterior wall. 

Updates: Novels, and Contests, and Summits, Oh My!

Well, it has been quite a few crazy months since The Purple Door District launched. Within a month, I sold about 100 copies, and I anticipate that future conventions will see even more sales. I really appreciate all of the support from the community! 

With that being said, let's get into some updates! 

The Purple Door District: Wolfpit / Patreon

The second Purple Door District book is slowly coming along. After a rough few months of writer's block, not to mention some mental health issues, I'm finally getting back into it! I'm about 50,000 words into the book, and I finally have the back cover mostly written up, which I'll share with you guys soon. 

In the meantime, I posted a short story from the world of The Purple Door District to Patreon called The Magus and the Vampire. The story is set a year before PDD and reveals how Gladus and Trish first met. If you're interested in reading it, stop by Patreon. As a patron, you'll have access to all original chapters from the first PDD and you'll get to see PDD 2 before anyone else. 

For those of you who haven't picked up the book yet, The Purple Door District is available on amazon, on my website, and through bookstores like Prairie Lights, M and M Bookstore, and The Makers' Loft. 

Contest

I'm currently in a contest for best cover through AllAuthor. If you have a chance, I'd greatly appreciate it if you went and voted here.  There are 2 days left in this round. This site is also a great way to showcase your own books and covers! It's now open for March submissions, so be sure to get your book in! 

Women in Publishing Summit!

What if I told you I could get you a free ticket to a week-long event that is all about all the tools you need to help you write, publish, and sell that book you've either been dreaming of writing, trying to write, or have written but need help with #allthethings? And even better, that you don't have to even leave your home to participate?

Good news! The Women in Publishing Summit is coming! A week-long, FREE, online event!

March is Women’s History Month. It’s an awesome time to to celebrate, honor, and learn from a line-up of amazing women in the writing and publishing world who deserve some applause.

The Women in Publishing Summit sponsored by Thinkific, runs March 4-8, 2019, covers all things related to writing, publishing, and selling a book. It's Created FOR women, BY women, for women who want to write a book, have written a book, are in the process of writing a book, or perform some kind of function related to writing, publishing, and selling a book! You are not going to want to miss it.

Register for your FREE ticket now. https://erincasey--writepublishsell.thrivecart.com/free-wip-registration/

I guess this is the part where I also mention I am one of the speakers! During the summit, I'll discus how to find the "write" community. Where can you find fellow writers? What makes a writing group right for you? And more! 

This summit is being hosted by my friend, Alexa Bigwarfe. She is an author coach and publisher and noticed that there seemed to be a real void in the female voices present in online conferences and training programs on writing and selling books. So, she set out to change that. And I thought it was a great idea too!

Here is the schedule of topics for each day:

Day 1: The Big Picture for Your Book

Day 2: Your Path to Publishing Success + Mindset

Day 3: Production, Distribution, Legal - Editing, Design, Taxes, Copyright, etc

Day 4: Book Launch Strategies, Marketing, Marketing and more Marketing

Day 5: Tools and Resources for Writing, Publishing, and Marketing Your Book

I hope you'll join us! 

Upcoming Showings and Events

March 2nd, 2019: Author Signing at M and M Bookstore
March 4th-8th, 2019: Women in Publishing Summit
April 18th, 2019 (6pm): Ottumwa Public Library Book Reading  

May 17th-19th, 2019: OWS Cycon 2019 (online event) 
June 29th-30th: Book Signing at West Valley Mall
September 7th-8th: The Writers' Rooms Presents: I.O.W.A. 

Once again, thank you for everything, and I hope to see you at my upcoming shows! I'm already signing up for ones in other parts of Iowa, and I'm hoping to do a few in Chicago since that's where PDD is set. 

Happy reading and writing!

Depression and Writing: Don't End Your Story

People often ask me why I write. I give them plenty of answers like, it's what I was born to do (cheesy, I know), it's as vital to me as the air I breathe (also cheesy), I love to create new worlds, I have stories to tell, etc. etc. Writing is also my outlet when I'm stressed or depressed. When I slip into the text and the world falls away, I feel a warmth in my chest that dissipates every awful thing I'm feeling. I'm lost in the story, and everything feels right with the world. In a way, my writing saves me from my negative emotions. 

But what about those times when it can't? What about the times when writer's block is so strong is drives me into a downward spiral of depression? 

I've written about anxiety, depression, and writing before, but what happened a week ago is very different. 

On February 2nd, my depression almost won. I won't go into great detail, but I checked myself into a psychiatric ward with the guidance and support of a friend so that I could take care of my mental health.

So I wouldn't end my story.  

You see, I love writing, but I do the same thing many writers do. I attach my self worth to my craft. If I can't write, I feel like something's wrong with me and I stress myself out more than necessary. It's habit. It's worse when I have a block on a big project I want to complete such as Purple Door District 2. For months I've struggled and felt disconnected with my craft. That's bad enough, but when writing is supposed to be an emotional outlet, and I lose that, I sometimes feel like I lose my purpose too. 

Don't get me wrong, a lot of things compounded over the months to make me so depressed, but not being able to write was a huge part of it. Writers tend to forget about their mental health when they're so busy creating. We get swept up in what we should be getting done or how we're not doing enough that we forget the warning signs our brain sends us when we've pushed ourselves too far. 

-Lack of interest in the things we love

-Unable to deal with daily stresses

-Losing sleep over worry

-Beating ourselves down for not writing because we see ourselves as failures

Sound familiar? I was feeling all of this, and yet I didn't realize just how depressed I was until it was almost too late. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'm not shy when it comes to talking about my mental health. Several writers on twitter have been told that they shouldn't discuss their emotions or mental health because it's "unprofessional" or "no one wants to hear their drama." 

Bullshit. 

Talking about how you feel makes you more real. It makes you more human and relatable. If Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and blog posts are your outlets and the only places you feel safe talking about your emotions, then do it. The United States has such a stigma about mental health, like it's a hush hush topic that no one should talk about.

Again, I call bullshit. If we talked about it, then maybe more people would know when to reach out for help. Maybe more creative minds would realize they're not alone in their struggles and there are people who care what happens to them. 

You are not your craft. Your worth is not measured by your word or page count, or your amazon reviews, or the number of books under your belt. 

One of the things that struck me the hardest about going into the psychiatric ward was when the therapist said, "You're a writer? Oh yeah, I've probably seen most of the writers in the city here." What does that tell you about us creative folk? We push and push and beat ourselves down when we should be lifting ourselves and others up for our/their accomplishments. 

So in case no one has said this to you today, you matter. You are amazing. You are loved. And you have a purpose. No matter how lonely you feel, there's a community out there that understands what you're going through. If you're too nervous to call someone for help, then try #writingcommunity on Twitter, or any number of writing hashtags on instagram. Believe me, you'll find that there are more people like you than you even realize. 

And during those really bad moments, when you feel like the world is coming down and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, please consider calling the suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255. 

Your story isn't over yet, and the world wants to hear it. You're not alone. 

2018 Wrap Up and 2019 Goals

I can't believe that 2018 is finally over. It felt like the year that just would not die! I made resolutions last year, but most of them I don't even  remember, except for wanting to start querying Dragon Steal, which I did manage to accomplish. For this post, I'd like to go over some of the awesome (and not-so-awesome) things that happened this year and cover my goals for 2019. 

2018 in Review

• Finished editing Dragon Steal and submitted it for publication.

  • I've received several rejection letters but recently got a full manuscript request. While the rejections have hurt, at least the book is out there! 

• I created my own website and started developing a branded persona on twitter, facebook, instagram, etc. I have over 1,000 followers both on twitter and on instagram.

  • Even better, I've met a ton of amazing authors and creators through these sites who I can't wait to work with next year! 

• Wrote, edited, and published The Purple Door District.  I can't believe I developed my own marketing and indiegogo campaigns, formatted the book, published it, and held a launch party all in the space of six months. The question is, can I do it for PDD2? 

• Had "Latte with a Shot of Poltergeist" and "Frozen Heart" published in anthologies. 

• Submitted more short stories and poetry than I ever have before. While I received a lot of rejections, I at least received a few publications. 

• Officially launched The Writers' Rooms with my co-Director, Alexandra Penn. We also finished our Articles of Incorporation and got certified as a non-profit corporation. 

• Helped develop the concierge anthology through The Writers' Rooms. 

• Returned to my college and taught a few classes about publishing and NaNoWriMo.

• Wrote 50k words for The Purple Door District: Wolf Pit. 

• Lost about 45 lbs through exercise and healthy eating. 

• Attended my first book signing event with other authors and signed up for even more in 2019. 

• Hosted giveaways for my book and swag that was developed by local creators. 

• Started my patreon account to help raise money for my writing career. 

• Received honorable mention in Writers of the Future. 

• Truly started my profession as an author. 

It's been a really big year for me writing wise. I still can't believe that six months ago I decided to publish The Purple Door District. It seems like ages since I made that decision. I've managed to publish a few pieces of work this year, including on wattpad and patreon. 

Next year, I hope to do even more, but also find a way to take care of myself at the same time. 

2019 Goals

• Focus on my mental health and take better care of myself mentally and physically.

• Find an agent and publisher for Dragon Steal.

• Finish writing and publish The Purple Door District: Wolf Pit.

• Work on Fates and Furies with my co-author, AE Kellar, and hopefully publish the first book, if not in 2019, then in early 2020. 

• Submit more short stories and poetry for publication. 

• Start working on The Purple Door District #3 and Dragon Steal #2

• Return to working on Traitors of the Crown. 

• Lose more weight for health reasons and get healthier. 

• Attend multiple writing conventions to both sell my books and to meet other authors. 

• Start my path to becoming a full-time author. 

These are pretty ambitious goals, but I think most of them are possible. I really do need to focus on my mental and physical health, though, because I managed to break myself a few times while working on PDD. If I can't hold myself together, I won't be able to accomplish any/all of this. 

I'm really proud of what I did this year. It's my biggest year as an author, and I can't wait to see what 2019 holds. I'm also a little scared. What if next year doesn't unfold as well? I guess that's all part of growing up and making plans as a writer, though. Some years you're going to make it big, and some years are going to be a lot slower. I hope 2019 is still a fantastic one. 

What are your goals for 2019? Feel free to share them below! Also, let me know what topics you'd like me to cover this year! 

Happy Writing!

Erin